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Preloved Chica Personal Charity Shop Stylist

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My Preloved Life Blog

My husband died 2 years ago, it was an incredible 46 year romance and getting over his death was a challenge. This blog is all about how I dealt with his death, the strategies I used, the tools I discovered, the opportunities I embraced and the new preloved life I have built. My Blog is divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life. and Sixty Days.


Featured
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021

Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened

Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021

NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.

Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021

I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.

Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.

Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow

Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China

Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai

Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic

Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima

Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima

Nov 24, 2021

Meditation Stills My Mind

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

I picked up meditation again and throughout 2018 I managed to meditate most days. I find it a wonderful sanctuary, a place where I can relax and let my tears flow. I’m looking forward to carrying on this practice into 2019

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A Silver Lining At Christmas

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

Mystery case of wine from Naked Wines is like a gift from beyond.

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Steve Marsden

Talking To Loved Ones

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

Sometimes you just need to talk. And from the silence often comes the answers you need

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Elene Marsden ICR FM Radio

Try Something Completely Different

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

I’ve been a presenter on ICR Ipswich Community Radio for almost a year. Learning radio presenting skills and meeting so many new people has helped with my grieving journey.

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Frank Ostaseski The Five Invitations

The Most Important Grief Book To Read

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

The 5 Invitations by Frank Ostaseki was so inspiring. I’ve decided I want to live my life fully and my trip to Machu Picchu is an example of “Don’t Wait”

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Kintsugi- Beauty in Imperfection

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

My kintsugi inspired heart shaped tattoo reminds me of love and transformation.

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The Power of Writing

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

I started journaling last year and I have filled 8 journals with my words. I find writing very therapeutic

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Elene Marsden Retreat

Fancy A Retreat?

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

I’ve been on 2 retreats to Sardinia. These retreats were the start of my healing journey and helped me both physically and mentally.

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One Love Tattoo

Mark Your Experiences with a Tattoo

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

I had “One Love” tattooed on my wrist when my husband died.

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Elene Marsden Airbnb Photo Shoot

How Airbnb Helped with Loneliness

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

Become an Airbnb host, you’ll earn money and ease the loneliness of bereavement

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Steve Marsden's Tree

The Responsibilities of a Memorial Tree

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

Some people plant trees, buy memorial benches or one friend made a wildflower garden with its own bug hotel in memory of his wife.

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Memorialized Facebook Account

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings
Memorialized Facebook Account

Find out how to create a memorialized Facebook account

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Peaky Blinders

Lose Yourself In A Box Set

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

A good box set is like spending time with a good friend

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Bluebell Woods

Walking Out By Yourself

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

Going for a walk on your own can feel scary but this kind of exercise is free, good for your mind and body too

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Give Up or Give Away?

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

In the Christian calendar, Lent is the 40 days leading to Easter and is seen as a period of reflection, a time for fasting from food and indulgences. In 2017 Lent began on Wednesday 1st March, the day after Steve died.

Lisa, my sister in law had arrived from America to say her final goodbyes to Steve. The following day she read a Facebook post about a new challenge for Lent, not to give things up but to give things away. Every day for 40 days you had to find something you didn’t want anymore, start a collection and at the end of 40 days take your stuff to your local Charity/Thrift store.

This idea immediately appealed to me. I thought it would be a practical thing to focus on for the next few weeks. Life felt unreal, I needed grounding and the structure and routine of this Lent challenge felt right. I’m also a huge fan of donating clothes to charity shops, I even have my own YouTube Channel all about my passion for second-hand fashion so it was a perfect fit.

On the 4th March, I made a public announcement on my YouTube Channel that I was taking the #40days#40items challenge and urging others to join me, lots of people did. I started with some of my husband’s ties and by the final day of the challenge, on the 7th April my red hot chilli pepper bag was packed full of clothes, belts and accessories ready to donate to the charity/thrift shop.

Here’s the link to my YouTube video. I can hardly believe I had the strength to record that video, there was so much emotion in my eyes but my voice was strong and determined.

Give it a Try

Find a charity challenge that inspires you and make a commitment to complete it. If you’re not ready for a public challenge, make a decision to do something consistently for 21 days, like walking around your local park every day. The main thing is to shift your focus.

You don’t have to climb Kilimanjaro, you could sign up for a 5 K run or try a parachute jump for those more adventurous types or simply volunteer at a local charity a few hours a week. When you shift your focus away from your grief to help others, amazing things can happen.

If the challenge you pick involves preparation and training, on completion you’ll feel satisfaction and a wonderful sense of achievement too.

I did a Google search for charity challenge companies. There’s plenty out there

https://www.discoveradventure.com/challenges/top-charity-challenges

https://www.globaladventurechallenges.com/challenges

Have you ever completed a charity challenge?

What did you do and how did you feel afterwards?

#MyPrelovedLife : 4/10/18

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Preloved Chica with Zumba Teacher

Life Saving Zumba Dance Moves

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

Zumba is an amazing form of exercise and was the perfect antidote when my husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness

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Elene Marsden Photo Shoot

How I Replaced The Silence in The House

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

The house was so quiet when my husband died. I filled the house with sounds by listening to wonderful pod-casters, especially History on Fire. My history improved too.

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Elene Marsden - My Preloved Life

My Preloved Life

November 23, 2021 in Beginnings

Losing the person you've spent your life with is devastating whether through grief or breakup, the feelings are universal, your story is unique. Read Elene Marsden’s story here

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