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My Preloved Life Blog

My husband died 2 years ago, it was an incredible 46 year romance and getting over his death was a challenge. This blog is all about how I dealt with his death, the strategies I used, the tools I discovered, the opportunities I embraced and the new preloved life I have built. My Blog is divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life. and Sixty Days.


Featured
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021

Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened

Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021

NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.

Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021

I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.

Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.

Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow

Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China

Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai

Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic

Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima

Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima

Nov 24, 2021
Elene Marsden Journal

How Journaling Saved Me

November 24, 2021 in Helped Me

My friend, Nicki, gave me my first journal in February 2017. I’d never written in a journal before. Within a month I’d filled it with writing about Steve’s death, his wake at the Duke of York pub where he lay in his cardboard bee motif coffin, his amazing woodland burial in Wrabness conducted by my sister-in-law, a Baptist minister by day but who delivered a perfect Humanist service in keeping with Steve’s non-religious beliefs. There was so much to write about, so much grief to off load.

I started the second journal straight away and this time I wrote about my first healing trip to Sardinia. The third and fourth journals were stuffed full of notes from my 60-day journey halfway around the world. I had lots of time to write especially when I was on the 7 day Trans –Siberian train from Beijing to Moscow.

Whilst on the train I listened to an Audible book by Gabrielle Bernstein, The Universe Has Your Back. I found it very inspiring and wrote deeply profound messages to myself during those long days travelling across Siberia.

Here’s an extract from my journal dated 18th August 2017. It's a set of instructions I wrote to me!

Feel the love of those all around you

Plan your next adventure

Walk along the beach in meditation and stillness, feel whole

Share your love as much as you can

Take heed to love yourself even more

Be the shining light you are already, polish your diamond within, polish each facet and see the light bounce off the walls as you walk through time

Lean towards parallel universes where loved ones still exist

Time, as we know it, is not important, the energy that’s around us is all that matters

Bathe in it, you are not alone and never have been

You know the world differently now

You know everyone is the same

There’s more goodness than darkness

Kindness is all around

Appreciate that kindness, that love and reflect it back to the people you meet along the way

I’m surprised I wrote this. I don’t recognise this as my writing. It’s amazing how grief can manifest itself in such creative ways.

Keeping a diary-style journal has helped in other ways too. I had a limiting belief, “I have a terrible memory”. The truth was that my husband was the one with the powerful memory for life’s details and that suited me. But I decided it was time to tackle this unhelpful belief.

My strategy was to keep track of everything I was doing. I write in my journal every day. Sometimes that’s not possible so I have a catch-up session looking back at the week. I’m always amazed at how much I do, how many wonderful people I meet. When I look back at my notes I’m very grateful that my life is full of incredible experiences.

Elene Marsden and Brusho

I’m on journal #9 now, I don’t think I’ll ever give up because I find it so therapeutic. When I went to Sicily I kept an art based journal and for 3 weeks I covered the pages with Brusho paint, I made collages, I even included a few sketches. I completed the final page of this journal when I was waiting for my plane to leave Catania airport, there was a delay of 60 minutes. Instead of feeling fed up with the delay, I was delighted with the extra time I had to finish the final page of my sketchbook.

Give it a Try

Try keeping a diary for 21 days. They say if you do something for 21 days, you’ll form a habit which will be easier to sustain. Consider using an A4 sketch pad to keep notes. The main thing is to start. I’ve heard so many stories about people buying beautiful notebooks and feeling too intimidated to write in them. Your writing, your words don’t have to be perfect, after all, they’re just for you.

Have you ever kept a journal? Are you still journaling today? I’d love to hear your experiences

#MyPrelovedLife : 5/11/18

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