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My Preloved Life Blog

My husband died 2 years ago, it was an incredible 46 year romance and getting over his death was a challenge. This blog is all about how I dealt with his death, the strategies I used, the tools I discovered, the opportunities I embraced and the new preloved life I have built. My Blog is divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life. and Sixty Days.


Featured
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021

Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened

Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021

NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.

Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021

I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.

Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.

Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow

Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China

Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai

Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic

Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima

Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima

Nov 24, 2021
Elene Marsden Provodnista Trans Siberian

On Board the Trans Siberian Express

November 24, 2021

Sharing a compartment with another person makes a huge difference. I’m travelling first class which means you may have to share with one other person. Second class travel means you may share with 3 other people. So from Beijing to Irkutsh, a 3 day journey, I shared my compartment with a judo teacher from Exeter, she’d already travelled from Moscow through Mongolia to China and was on her return trip stopping off at various places including St Petersburg before catching the train back to Britain. We had some fun times together, especially when we invited fellow traveller Judy, an Australian Abba fan, her husband and the 2 young love birds from China in the next compartment to a karaoke singathon.

While I was in Tokyo, inspired by the Mumford and Sons I dreamed of singing This Train Is Bound for Glory on the Trans-Siberian. Apart from the missing guitarist my dream came true.

It’s pretty intense sharing a small space with some-one, a bit like camping but with a total stranger. Ruth described how in the early hours of the morning several hours outside Moscow, a huge Russian guy with a big beard entered her compartment and was to be her travelling bunk mate for the next 2 days. He turned out to be a lawyer and his wife and sister were in the compartment next door. Sharing with a strange man is not considered unusual.

Last night was my first night alone and I have to admit I was grateful that I didn’t get a surprise visit in the early hours of the morning from a new passenger.

When you share a small space you need to co-ordinate getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. Of course there are bed lights but you do need to learn how to live in harmony and we did. Ruth and I shared some intimate conversations about relationships and love. I was surprised about how quickly time flies on this train.

If you want to use the shower you have to book a time slot. You had to be careful not to spill water on the floor, my first shower was a disaster, the shower curtain was hanging off and by the time I stepped out of the shower, there were 2 inches of water on the floor. The male Provodnik, stern at the best of times, was even sterner looking when he saw the mess I’d made.

Elene Marsden Folded Crane

My favourite thing was the coal fired stove called a samova or hot water tank which you can use to make tea or coffee. My routine was to put a Green Tea bag in my flask in the morning and throughout the day i kept my flask topped up with boiling hot water. I also had 3 packets of Chinese pot noodles, bow shaped pieces of pasta with 3 sachets of dehydrated powders, I had no idea what was in each sachet.

The Provodnistas are the women who look after the carriage.  Our Russian Provodnista had short blond hair, spoke absolutely no English and walked around the carriage in her pink pyjamas as she cleande the train each day. But as soon as we pull into a station, the full uniform goes on and she becomes quite intimidating and super efficient. It must be the hat.

She would tell us how long we had at each stop, 5 minutes or sometimes as long as 30 minutes. You can’t go too far but at each stop I took a picture of one of the cranes I’d made to leave on the platform. At the stations there are small shops selling snacks, drinks and dubious greasy pasties. At one station I had a greasy donut stuffed with cabbage, the good news, it didn’t contain meat, the bad news, it was tasteless.

Something else to be aware of at each station, the toilets are locked. One night when I couldn’t sleep I got up, it was midnight, the train had stopped at Chita. In my pyjamas I walked up and down the platform listening to the engineer bang the train wheels with his hammers testing for cracks in the metal. The sound was beautiful like a percussion orchestra tuning up. I got a bit cold and boarded the train but I had to wait for another 20 minutes for the toilets to reopen. So planning your toilet breaks are essential.

The restaurant car changes depending on what country you’re passing through. Ruth and I went to the Chinese dining car, it was packed with people, all Chinese. First we were told it was closed, they showed us to a seat, then the chef said only one thing left but then let us chose what we wanted from the menu, confusing. That night we feasted on rice and chicken with green peppers in a black bean sauce, it was tasty. I’m planning to visit the Russian car tonight and will ask for vodka!

I bought vodka at one of the station stops , it was cheap about £4. I invited my neighbours, the Australian couple and Lil and Yeung from next door to join me for a vodka party. I showed them the video I’d made on the Great Wall and as the bottle was almost finished the conversation turned to marriage. I shared the story of my 39 happy years of marriage and presented them with my One Love photo.

A near disaster was averted at Omsk. A ten minute stop we were told so off we trooped to stretch our legs, take photos, place cranes etc. I called Judy over to have a quick look at the Russian Dolls, as she wants to buy a set for her daughter. The next thing Ruth notices they’re pulling up the steps, the train is about to leave. We had to run and jump onto the last carriage at the end of the train. The Provodnik was not happy, we said Sorry. He replied “NOT SORRY!!” We walked through the train like naughty children, through the restaurant car and tried the door handle which was stuck. We were trapped in the restaurant car, I can think of worse places, there was a bar there after all. The Provodnik was trapped with us too, he radioed for help and 15 minutes later we were released. We could see the funny side, he couldn’t, his impression of foreign travellers was confirmed.

For the last 3 days I’ve had the compartment to myself and I’m enjoying the space and independence. I had a lovely sleep last night and woke up refreshed. The train rocks you to sleep. I wonder how I’ll feel when I arrived in Moscow after 6 days of this rocking motion.

#MyPrelovedLife
August 2017

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