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My Preloved Life Blog

My husband died 2 years ago, it was an incredible 46 year romance and getting over his death was a challenge. This blog is all about how I dealt with his death, the strategies I used, the tools I discovered, the opportunities I embraced and the new preloved life I have built. My Blog is divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life. and Sixty Days.


Featured
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021

Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened

Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021

NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.

Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021

I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.

Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.

Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow

Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China

Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai

Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic

Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima

Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima

Nov 24, 2021

Kintsugi- Beauty in Imperfection

November 23, 2021 in Helped Me

For twelve months I’ve been planning to get another tattoo, a Kintsugi style tattoo. Kintsugi is a Japanese art form which involves repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Kintsugi treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.

I decided I’d like a Kintsugi heart tattoo to represent the transformation I’ve gone through. My broken heart repaired with metaphorical gold lacquer.

I’d been trying to get an appointment at my local tattoo studio for months but there were no appointments. That worked out well for me because, during my trip to Sicily this summer, I went in search of a tattoo studio. I found a studio near to my hotel called Puto Amor, classy, arty and spotlessly clean. I went in on Tuesday to see if I could have an appointment for Thursday, just before travelling back to the UK the next day.

As luck would have it, Augusto Di Felippo, a visiting artist from Rome agreed to design a tattoo for me.

I arrived at the studios in Giardini Naxos at 3 pm and left at 8 pm. I explained to Augusto, the tattooist that I’d been in a relationship for 46 years and that I felt Sicily had helped to heal my heart and that I wanted a kintsugi style heart to represent that healing. Augusto specialises in Japanese tattoos so he knew all about the cracked pottery vases.

His design took 2 hours to draw up and was bigger than I’d expected. I also thought I’d have the tattoo at the top of my leg, but Augusto suggested it would look better on my hip. I went with his ideas and I’m pleased with the results.

The tattooing process started with the transfer design applied to the skin. The ink work took 3 hours. When the first needle dragged across my skin, I felt the painl. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to cope with another 3 hours of this. Although some of the inked lines were painful, there were other times when the sensation of the needle scratching my skin was exquisite. I tried to relax but in truth, I was stiff and tense.

After the main work had been inked, Augusto went out for a break. He said I could get up but I just lay there in a mesmerized state. Augusto returned to fill in the heart cracks with yellow ink. This ink technique was yet another physical sensation.

When Augusto finished my tattoo, he took some photos, told me the design looked sexy and wrapped me up in a band of cling film to protect my skin. I had to keep the film on for 24 hours and after that, I would be able to wash the tattoo gently and apply tattoo cream.

When I stood up, I felt a bit wobbly and walked gingerly out into the waiting area for a taxi.

My tattoo cost €295, a great price considering all the design work and the intricate inking work. When I got back to my hotel my Italian friend Rosa looked after me and told me to eat, all I wanted was a stiff drink. I guess I was in shock after my tattoo experience.

My tattoo took 2 weeks to heal. It is a constant reminder of the intense love I experienced with Steve and it tells the story of how the Sicilian sunlight and the energy of its people, repaired my heart.

Give it a Try

One of my favourite money boxes shaped like an owl smashed. I put all the pieces back together. I made a right mess of it but that doesn’t matter. I still love this money box, to me, it’s even more beautiful now that it’s been repaired. And to think I was going to throw it away!

Have you ever tried to repair something and been disappointed that you could still see the cracks? Why not look at broken things in a new way, see the beauty in the imperfection and be OK with that and you will have a Kintsugi inspired piece of art.

#MyPrelovedLife : 5/11/18

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