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My Preloved Life Blog

My husband died 2 years ago, it was an incredible 46 year romance and getting over his death was a challenge. This blog is all about how I dealt with his death, the strategies I used, the tools I discovered, the opportunities I embraced and the new preloved life I have built. My Blog is divided into Beginnings, Helped Me, Solo Life. and Sixty Days.


Featured
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021
When Life Goes in a New Direction
Nov 24, 2021

Imagine getting a call from ITV News saying they’d run to interview you about your Airbnb experiences. I was happy to help, Airbnb has certainly played a big part in my life helping to overcome loneliness and filling my home with light. This is the story of what happened

Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021
NLP - Great Strategies For Change
Nov 24, 2021

NLP training is great way to learn new life strategies. An added bonus for me is that I made some great friends on the training course too.

Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021
How Journaling Saved Me
Nov 24, 2021

I really enjoy writing in my journal, last night I wrote 14 pages about the Ipswich Spill Festival . Find out how my journals have helped me.

Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021
Moscow, End of the Line
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, through Siberia to Moscow, end of the line for me.

Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021
On Board the Trans Siberian Express
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Travelling across the entire length of Russian, from Beijing through Siberia to Moscow

Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021
My Beijing Life
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Cycling in Beijing, close to the Forbidden City and climbing the Great Wall of China

Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021
Shanghai Friends and Culture
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. My fourth country, China, Shanghai

Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021
All At Sea
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Sailing from Osaka through the inland Japanese sea to Shanghai was wonderfully cathartic

Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021
Miyajima, The Most Photogenic Place on Earth
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the magical temple of Miyajima

Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021
My Pilgrimage to Hiroshima
Nov 24, 2021

This series of blogs was written in the Summer of 2017, I wanted to bring them into MyPrelovedLife to remind me of the wonderful adventures I had travelling 20,000 miles around the world, feeling safe and loved by so many people. Visiting the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima

Nov 24, 2021
Elene Marsden and the spider

Who's Going to Throw Out the Spider

November 23, 2021 in Solo Life

Every Autumn, the biggest spiders in the world come into my house and make their way to my downstairs bathroom. I’m such a wimp when it comes to spiders. It was always Steve’s job to remove any arachnids. Sometimes I might cover a spider with a pint glass ready for Steve to throw it out later.

Imagine my horror this year, in May to discover the biggest ever spider not downstairs but upstairs in my bedroom and just above my bed. I looked at it and felt sick. Would it even fit under a pint glass? Breaking out of the trance I was in, I decided to fetch a glass from the kitchen and find a piece of card to cover the glass and trap the beast.

I’d been gone just 3 minutes, when I got back upstairs, shock horror the spider was no longer on the wall. I couldn’t see it anywhere, it had disappeared. Should I sleep in another room tonight? I really didn’t know what to do, the thought of that spider running over my bed gave me the shivers.

What a nightmare.

The only thing I could do was to re frame how I look at spiders. I tried to think of spiders as perfect creatures, doing no harm to humans, in fact helping us by catching flies. I managed to sleep in my own bed that night and forgot about the spider.

7 days later….

I woke up one morning and there was the spider wrapped up in my net curtain on the other side of the bedroom. How many times had it run across my bedroom floor I wondered? This time I was determined to catch this spider and remove it from my home. Instead of using a pint glass I decided to take down the net curtain, bundle everything up and take it into the garden. I opened up the curtain and returned an hour later, the spider had gone, relieved to be back in nature, I’m sure.

I was so proud of myself too. To continue my new relationship with spiders, this Autumn I’m keeping track of the number of spiders I’ve successfully removed by recording numbers on a notice board.

Several of my friends suggested I get one of these spider capturing devices.

Have you used one? Do they work? Let me know

Give it a Try

You might love spiders, so my story won’t impact you but if there’s something else that causes you to faint, try looking at your experience in a different way. We can choose how we react to situations, it’s called re-framing and is a technique used in NLP to remove lifelong phobias in minutes. It works.

#MyPrelovedLife : 11/10/18

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